to catfish or not to catfish?

To Catfish or not Catfish your Home: A 21st-Century Dilemma.

Catfishing has spread throughout house selling. Heed geek’s warning, and resist weaponising deception, however tantalising it may feel!

We all know a shocking catfish story – yours or someone else’s. But, for those of you that don’t, a brief view:

The surge in social media has enabled a rise in deception – fake identity using fake photos, means someone can pretend to be someone that they are not, or alter their own image to present to the world; fishing for victims to fall for their fake persona. It’s rife. It’s mutating and is causing destruction.

Age is a typical characteristic to manipulate. Don’t tell me you have not been tempted, even for a nano second, searching through your photos desperately trying to find a decent newish one, which catches you in a good light; your jowl looking taught; your laughter lines not too apparent; the dark circles, a little illuminated; this is a task of immeasurable proportions. You do not possess one photo you wish to share with the world, especially for a dating app! The momentary singular thought of, should I use one of my younger self, even five years ago, flashes on like a neon sign. A brief ponder, and for most of us, we don’t go there. But some do, and by a lot! Decades even!

There is nothing more disappointing than going on that first date and coming face to face with the great, great, old person version of the golden surfer dude you thought you were meeting. You are disappointment, closely followed by raging anger bursting forth, and either you are bold and speak out, or you ignore the gigantic elephant in the coffee shop and grimace your way through, whilst ways to escape spin like a rolodex in your brain.

You may try visualisation as you stare discreetly at their mouth, weighing up, what it would feel like to have an intimate moment. (It has been a while – and in Catfish style, you are vulnerable prey!) Could you? Should you? Would you? They lean back and laugh; you notice a dribble and the residue from the chocolate off their cappuccino is clinging onto their mouth corners – an inescapable ick feeling virtually wipes you off your feet. What were you thinking? A little frantic now, you excuse yourself to the washroom, you need a breather! You are angry – you have been deceived, and yet another fragment of trust is dislodged.

Some house sellers are dabbling with deception. You can rationalise the temptation: needing to sell fast for health, finances, work reasons etc can all exacerbate urgency and stress. To use past photos of their home, when the paintwork was white as was the grout and the kitchen cupboards were perfectly aligned, and the shower glistened and shone like a glossy magazine. Or you did have the minimalist look - once upon a time. Why not, photos from the past would be a quick fix – you need to sell.

geek’s guidance: do not succumb. Do not over glam your home. Do not create an illusion. Showing what it once was to entice viewers round is misleading, disappointing and anger inducing. Keep it real. Yes, declutter, clean and tidy, but there are circumstances where even this advice cannot be heeded.

People do not like being deliberately misled, so please abstain and do not stray from the path of righteousness.

There are benefits! Instead:

Let’s breathe some humanity into situations where we can. Fancy having a meaningful relationship with your buyer? Ok, perhaps more of a brief love affair, but one you can reflect on and say it was good while it lasted – filed in your fond memories for occasional reflection. It could happen if you don’t catfish! A relationship between buyer and seller that has truly decent reciprocity, integrity and frankness, is possible. But remember, openness about your 35-year-old boiler is a must. Just say it how it is. If your buyer mistrusts you, the chances are you will spend the next four months being your worst self, and the likelihood is so will they. Between you, you will become obtuse, awkward and antagonistic – petty to the third degree, micro aggressions free falling from your mouth, finding yourself raging about leaving the light fittings, no way are you going to leave them one iota of anything above and beyond the fixture and fittings list. No way, over your dead body are they having your energy saving bulbs, as you choke on your words of incredulousness in response to a request for something trivial. Relationships without trust become toxic!

Maybe, it doesn’t have to be this way. Maybe you, the seller, and you, the buyer could engage in something a little bit special. Imagine, house selling with ease? Surely not?

First steps to keeping it real: use the truth of current photos, without bending the lens – if your front room is 16ft, do not use a photo that makes it look 25ft. If your garage leaks when it rains, or the damp course needs redoing, just open your mouth, and tell them. It really does make life easier.

Do it the geek way and keep it real.

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